Back to the present moment:
Sarah was getting ready for school.
She was looking closely to the mirror and she realized how scary she had
become. Her face was so yellow and thin. It’s just that you could tell how
different she looks. She was always that girl with the beautiful face and
beautiful features. She thought maybe that’s why people were talking to her.
She believed they were somehow her friends but they all wanted something from
her.
As she
was going down, her parents stopped her. They haven’t quite got over Fay's death,
but theyre starting to kind of live with it. She could still hear her mother
crying in the middle of the night. She just doesn’t like showing her weaknesses
infront of anyone. She always wants to be that strong woman. My mom wanted me
to eat something before I leave but I just didn’t feel like it. She just
couldn’t reply. She knew I was still not over the death, and there wasn’t
something she could do about it. There was only one thing anyone could do, but
its just impossible. Bring fay back.
The ride to school was longer than usual, I was deep into my
thoughts. School didn’t feel like home any longer. Suddenly everyone distanced
themselves from me. Even Maha, who I thought was my friend after Fay. But since
Fay’s death, she had been trying to avoid me and I just don’t know why. I
didn’t think I should talk to her, so I just ignored her and everyone else.
Like every other day, people were just giving me those weird
stares. They just don’t make me feel uncomfortable any more. I got used to
them. I kept thinking so much can change in a year..
Back to the past:
I remember right before Fay went to Maha’s we were talking
about random topics. Like any other girls, we were obsessing over celebrities
and models. It was just a regular Saturday. But Fay got a call from Maha and
she wanted to see her. I didn’t feel like going so I just stayed at home.
If only I went
Maybe Fay wouldn’t be dead
Maybe I would of died instead
Maybe I could of saved her
Maybe
Maybe
Maybe
& suddenly I started to feel guilty, I thought what if
it was really my fault she is dead…
